I Can't and His Brother You Can't Need to Die!

I thought about my high school physics class today. My teacher, Mr. Sager, was awesome. He did have two quirks though: one, he refused to buy new tennis shoes until he received a raise, and two, he had a list of words/phrases that weren't allowed in his classroom.

I want to talk a little more about that second quirk. This was a small high school, so Mr Sager taught freshmen through seniors. The list was the same for all grades, though the punishment for using the words was not. As freshmen, if we used the words (I'll tell you them in a minute) we had to write "I will not say ____ in class" 25 times. As seniors, there was a 25 cent fine. Sometimes, a senior would just toss Mr. Sager a quarter and say one of the words anyway, but most of us were careful not to use them.

The list wasn't very long. And if any of my high school classmates read this and notice I'm missing one, let me know in the comments.

• swear words
• sorry (I might talk about this in another post)
• I can't

At first I was confused why Mr. Sager thought "I can't" was so awful to say. But then as kids said "I can't figure this out! This is stupid!" or similar thoughts, it clicked. When we say "I can't" we are making a statement that sticks.

"I Can't" is a disease. It infects the mind and makes us believe we are limited. And we are not limited! We can do anything, if we think we can. Like the Little Engine That Could. We just have to try. So if "I Can't" disappears from our vocabulary, then endless possibilities open up to us. 

"I Can't" has a brother, and he is more terrible than "I Can't" is. "You Can't" is a terrible bully. He swoops in uninvited and destroys dreams. I remember as a freshman, I wanted to try out for the show choir. I couldn't sing all that well, but I thought it looked like fun. So I started preparing a song to sing--a solo. I was pretty nervous, but I thought I could do it. Then my mom chatted with me about it. I can't remember if she used "You Can't" exactly, but the feeling behind "You Can't" was there. She was nervous that I wouldn't make the team, that I couldn't learn the dance moves, or fit in with the group. She convinced me not to try out.

So I didn't. I was already nervous about it, and after "You Can't" came through, my dream shriveled, and then "I Can't" stuck around and killed the dream. See, "You Can't" likes to bring "I Can't" along for the ride. And most of the time "You Can't" leaves. The person who said it moves on and forgets they even said it. But "You Can't" helps "I Can't" grow inside you, and then "I Can't" takes over and kills your dreams.

To finish the show choir story, the next year my sister decided to try out. She was more confident and if my mom told her she couldn't, she must have ignored her, because she tried out and made the team. She loved it. She learned lots and made many friends. A few years later, my brother was a freshman, and he tried out, and he made the show choir team too. And he loved it as well.

Looking back, I bet I could have tried out and gotten on the team too. But "You Can't" and "I Can't" stole that from me.

I've met several people with a similar problems. Someone somewhere told them "You Can't" and now they say "I Can't" all the time. They are limited in their choices because "You Can't" and "I Can't" have infected them.

So my point and hope is that we should be careful of saying "You Can't". Of course, I'm not talking about "You can't play in the street." I'm talking about "You Can't sing," or "You Can't be a business owner" or "You are in a wheelchair, You Can't drive." Let's kill "You Can't"!

And while we're at it, let's kill "I Can't" too. We can do anything, if we think we can!