Being Right

I like being right. I'm smart, and I like to believe I have common sense. But as I've gotten older, I've noticed I'm right less often. And I've been thinking about it, and I don't think it's because I'm actually wrong more often than I was in high school. I think I'm right less often because I don't want to be right all the time.

Now don't go thinking that means I want to be wrong about stuff (excepting being wrong about depressing future event possibilities). But I've come to realize that as a mortal, I'm just going to be wrong sometimes. And that's ok. It's ok that I didn't know, it's ok that my idea didn't work, it's ok that I can't spell or talk sometimes. I think this is a healthy attitude to have. I know it takes less energy than being right all the time.

Think about it: If I have to be right all the time, I have to know everything. I have to be smarter and more knowledgeable than every one else I come in contact with, and if they want to argue with me, I have to take the time and energy to convince them that I'm right or at least spew forth enough proof that they feel beaten and stop. That's way more energy than it takes to say, "Yep. You're right." or "I was wrong."

Sure, saying those three little words is hard, but I think they are as important as three other little words (I love you) are for maintaining a healthy relationship. Acknowledging that the other person is smart and knowledgeable and sometimes more creative than you is a wonderful way to help them feel needed and wanted.

In connection with this, being willing to be wrong means picking your battles. Sometimes, even if you're right, it's just not worth the energy and tension and time an argument to prove it takes. If your significant other says, "I just killed a spider, and now there are bug guts on my floor," I've learned that the correct answer is, "Eww, I'm sorry you had to deal with that," not, "They aren't bug guts. Spiders aren't bugs." It's just not a battle worth fighting, especially if it will make your loved one feel stupid or put down when you say it. Being right about what is a bug isn't worth a person's self-esteem.

So as I've grown, I've learned that I don't mind being wrong. Or being right and not having anyone know. It's ok. I'm mortal, you're mortal, and we can both be wrong together. Or both right. And it's ok.